Alternative facts, alternative worlds – bangalore mirror

Right, so Trump was sworn in and he claimed he had the largest attendance of any President in the history of anything ever. Fantasy football yahoo app An atmosphere so electric, so packed, like India-England at Eden Gardens, like Modi at Madison Square Garden, like David Guetta in Bangalore (bad example).

I was there, and this is what I can tell you. Minecraft fence gate Other leaders can just punish themselves in a corner. Pitch diameter calculator Alexander marching through Persia- nothing, Napoleon’s coronation- zero, Julius Caesar addressing Rome- loser. Exterior house design ideas pictures Trump’s outdone them all. Timber merchants bristol Dead people came to life to attend, unborn people were born, ISIS surrendered (both their weapons and their spots in the queue). Natural stone design Mexicans had to build a wall just so they could stand on it to see Trump. Landscape architecture foundation The crowds were so long in fact that it stretched from the Washington monument all the way to Hauz Khas in New Delhi, although some claimed that The Red Fort blocked a clear view.

The next day, hundreds and thousands of women went out shopping at the same time, fulfilling the archaic stereotype that women shop while men hunt, at Washington DC’s National Mall. Usssa softball tournaments They confused The National Mall (which is a park for political rallies) with a shopping mall. Basketball rio 2016 channel The coincidence of so many women shopping at once confused the media who thought maybe it was some sort of protest. College softball world series The misunderstanding was easily cleared up when it became apparent that all the women wanted to buy were signboards with stuff written on them like “Trump Not My President”, whose meaning was too obscure for anyone to understand. Espn fantasy football draft app Later in the day, millions of people around the world joined in this signboard-shopping spree, in a first ever mega-global sale of signboards. Spring training schedule 2016 As Dr Rajendra Prasad once said, ‘When a mall starts a sale, you can’t keep a good lady at home’.

Trump ended his speech by smacking outgoing President Obama, and doing a headstand to prove his fitness while shouting, upside down, “I’m the best doer. Comiskey park There are no doers who do the doing better than I do” while Beyoncé, Arijit Singh, Bob Dylan, Ram Gopal Verma, Drake, Snoop Dogg and Anu Malik performed a medley titled, “He’s The Daddy Of The World”.

Meanwhile, our great leader decided to combine Swacch Bharat and International Yoga Day into Swach Yoga day (or Pradhan Mantri Flexi-Bendi-Yojna) where you do yoga while taking a shower. Masonry veneer manufacturers association However, he promptly demonetised it by noon because North India became too wet.

In Chennai (which is some place outside Bombay and Delhi that also has humans), a small group of people — a tiny, miniscule coterie, going by the odd title ‘citizens’ — gathered by the sea to plead their right to a particular festival involving cows for sport. Facebook logo size However, they immediately acquiesced to the awesome power of our Supreme Court who ruled over this group immediately once they’d heard strong closing arguments from the senior cow advocate. Jain irrigation systems ltd I will refrain from punning by saying, the Lordships were ‘Moo-ved’ because like Trump wants to Make America Great Again (MAGA), and Rahul Gandhi wants to be a classical musician (RAGA), I would like to be funny again (APFA), and I fear puns won’t help. French flag images free Puns are the carbs of the comedy diet.

Naturally you are reading all this and saying, these are lies. Wild pitch frisco facebook Outright lies. Baseball diamond cake You, pun-avoiding columnist sir, are lying. Landscape lighting world You never went to DC. Basketball courts nyc None of these people performed, no line can stretch from DC to Delhi.

To you I say, NO sir/madam, these are ‘alternative facts.’ When Trump was challenged by the media and told he had a tiny turnout at his inauguration, and shown aerial photos to prove how tiny it was compared to Obama’s in 2009, his campaign manager (now aide), Kelly Anne Conway, said she would like to give the world ‘alternative facts’. Fantasy football betting sites And the alternative fact was that it was packed, and people went crazy to see him. Mono pitch roof construction drawings Just like the Coldplay concert in Mumbai where people went crazy even before they came on stage – from having to listen to some 500 people talk nonsense about global citizenship. Frances bean cobain tattoos Sorry, that was my alternative fact added to Kelly Anne Conway’s.

Point being, ‘Alternative facts’ is now an actual phrase so popular that it has been the top trending topic on social media for the last 48 hours. Garden planner app And for context, 48 hours in social media time = 200 years in real life time.

Before Trump, lies were just lies. Crystal lattice definition chemistry Now lies rule the world and you wonder how you explain to children that it’s necessary to be honest and decent and truthful. Pitch meaning Millions of women around the world protested against Trump. Online landscape design tool Hundreds of thousands gathered in Chennai to question jurisdiction of court vs. Slow pitch softball leagues culture. Fencing olympics 2016 In both cases, it was about the power of the people over something imposed they don’t agree with. Auburn softball Good, bad is someone else’s purview- these are facts. Fencing rules There’s no alternative to fact.

You, for example, are who you are. Drip from my walk download With a name, a family (maybe an alternative family – you player you), x amount of money in the bank, a subscription to this newspaper, relative sanity (I hope).