New batch of my kitchen rules 2017 villains and hipsters is a sigh of the times

And thus it came to pass that in the sixth week the boardroom gods at Channel Seven decreed from on high, “Get us another set of contestants, for this one is broken”. Little league softball Upon which commandment, the producers of My Kitchen Rules replied: “Yea verily, for the serious siblings, pub friends, flirty flatmates and professional Tasmanians are equally getting up our nose; thus we shall bring on the second round of home cooks, who have been kept in a shipping container on the Home and Away lot for such a moment to arise as this.”

Yes, dear readers, MKR this week reached the point that theorists of modern corporate life would identify as its moment of disruptive innovation. Fence masters In other words, it was time to meet group B, another full deck of wannabe home cooks ready to play out exactly the same sinister game as the first. Beach landscape photography The souffle is risen; twice.

Such tactics are not solely the domain of MKR. Football games download Whether it’s The Bachelor, Survivor, I’m A Celebrity … Front porch building plans Get Me Out of Here or any other franchise intent on revealing humanity to be going inexorably backwards, it has come to pass that offering viewers a straightforward linear narrative has become so very fustily last century, like the Discman, and holidaying in Kuta.

Admittedly, it was with untrammelled relief that we escaped the evil clutches of poisonous Tyson and Amy, and ill-defined “hustlers” David and Betty (the only redeeming feature of each couple being that they despised the other with the heat of a thousand suns). Backyard baseball 2007 But take a step backwards for the meta-view, and behold: the arrival of a new mixed dozen is symptomatic of the TV series obesity now afflicting our screens.

Does anyone else remember the days when a high-ratings show was a once-a-week proposition for which viewers cancelled all plans and took the landline off the hook? Our modern principle of more-is-more has violated the sacred notion of occasion viewing by turning any remotely successful series into TV wallpaper, screening five nights a week. Pavers boots clearance Hence MKR’s second cast, used to bump out the season like beans in a bolognese.

The second group of people encouraged to say at the dinner table what normal dinner-party guests save for the taxi on the way home have already proven themselves to be a mirror image of the first, only too happy to lower themselves to the occasion. Football teams playing today Lemon-sour Alyse and Matt, the walking embodiment of the politics of envy. Football player logo team quiz game answers Josh, a self-satisfied tosspot in the classic mode of all reality TV self-satisfied tosspot. Landscaping costs per square foot And his wife … erm … got to look that one up again. Softball backgrounds The “we’re not hipsters” Court and Duncan who are quite clearly the quintessential definition of hipsters. Basketball wives season 5 episode 2 They’re from Melbourne, naturally (the smart money’s on Brunswick). Football field clipart Pigeonhole those two as the nice guys (“There are a lot of potential friends we haven’t met yet” says the adorable Court). Baseball drills for kids Ditto the nice-but-annoying Kelsey and Amanda, the Strine sisters able to emit sounds heard only by dogs (the former is a 21-year-old banker on maternity leave: can anyone identify what is wrong with that sentence?).

MKR is to food as elephants are to needlepoint, so the collective delusion held by the contestants that they are in fact in a cooking competition rather than a classic pantomime is of immense concern, from a public policy point of view.

The fascinating psychopathology of MKR really demands a spin-off series in which a team of psychologists conducts exit polls – like the election, but without the sausage sizzle – to ask them the eternal “Why?” Why did you expose yourself to public opprobrium? What did you hope to gain? With apologies to Raymond Carver, “And did you get what you wanted from this competition, even so?”

The contestants could revert to the defense that the devil is in the editing, not in their souls. Little league baseball scorekeeping app In TV, as in politics, the messages that cut through are the ones reinforcing an existing prejudice, so maybe – just maybe – there is more to these people sitting through a firestorm of snark than their easy-to-grasp handles would suggest. Softball field layout Are Alyse and Matt simply “ambitious newlyweds”, or do they have depths of sensitivity the editing process has squashed like a daddy long-legs on a windowsill? Does the “pub mates” friendship of Tim and Kyle transcend the pub, or do they hate each other when not drinking Tooheys Red? Are Josh and Amy (that’s her name!) “seafood lovers” or lovers of seafood; a subtle yet important distinction yet to be played out in the domestic domain of instant restaurants.

All these questions may – or may not – be answered in coming weeks. Pitch angle wind turbine All we know is that in the garden of Gethsemane that MKR has become, humanity will continue to wage its civil war between its very best and worst impulses. Softball rules Five nights a week, right there on our screens, the banality of evil.